Monday, February 23, 2009

Life as a Buenos Aryan

The Trials and Tribulations of Being Painfully out of Context
No matter how much Dark Temptation Axe-Effect shower gel I use (a chocolate smelling fragrance that implies that because women like chocolate, they will find men who smell of chocolate irresistible, ladies?) I can't seem to wash the Anglo-Dutch stamp off of my forehead. Perhaps it's because I'm from Groton. Or maybe because when I muscle the average Argentine for position on the subte platform it's like Dikembe boxing out Muggsy Bogues. Whatever it is, its F'ing annoying.

Everyone who still thinks it's sweet to look like Powder in Argentina, come on and take a walk with me:

After a breakfast of hitting snooze 3 times, I catch a bus to a no-gringo zone. Here I have an uncanny ability to rouse the homeless from their cardboard dreams, one in particular who decides to follow me for four blocks whistling the US National Anthem.

I also think its unfair people assume I can't speak Spanish or dance... but as I can do neither, I guess I'll have to grin and bear it. I will leave you with a (not-so) relevant deep thought by Jack Handy.

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

3 comments:

erin said...

First of all, I have to say I would almost definitely like you more if you were made entirely of chocolate (that is a very disturbing commercial however), secondly, if you woke me up from my cardboard box I would probably be inclined to follow you whistling the national anthem as well, and, as for the fliers, I think we should support these people's work, because if somebody wanted to pay me money for standing on the street shoving fliers in people's faces, I (sadly) would probably do it.

Josh said...

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

Anonymous said...

ted, you truly are a buenos Aryan